Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
