you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
