Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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