i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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