I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
