Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
