I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
