and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
my liver is dry heaving
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
