My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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