apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
