3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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