i'm signing you up for texting rehab
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
