She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize