Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
