OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
