I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My ass is underappreciated
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
