I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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