I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
