Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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