I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
