Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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