he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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