...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
