Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
