Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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