DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
