I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
