the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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