I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
