just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
