That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
