girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
