can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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