Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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