Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
