May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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