some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
