Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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