Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
