I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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