He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
