I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
