Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
