I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
