I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
