Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
