Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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