you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
