ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
one might say we're banned from that church
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
