I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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