Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
