im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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