im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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