the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
