Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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