just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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