it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
