Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
