my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize