I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
