She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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